In June, Emily Ratajkowski published a long personal essay in The Cut (New York magazine's site) about life after her divorce. It's called "Mother F---er". Within days everyone was talking about it. Some readers said it was the most honest thing they'd read about motherhood in a long time. Others said it was a rich model's story with no idea how ordinary single mothers actually live. Here's what's in it.
What happened
Emily is 35. She's a model, actress and the author of My Body, a 2021 essay collection that became a bestseller. In 2018 she married producer Sebastian Bear-McClard, and their son Sylvester was born in March 2021. In September 2022 she filed for divorce.
In the essay she describes giving birth as an abrupt, almost brutal shift into a new life. The marriage started to crack soon after their son was born, and less than a year later the couple split.
A fear she'd had since childhood
The most surprising admission: Emily had been afraid of becoming a single mother since she was a child. It looked to her like a trap that leaves a woman with no freedom and no choices. And then she found herself in exactly that role.
A date one week later
Her first date came about a week after the split, with friends helping to find the men. She's frank that she wasn't looking for a relationship. She needed to be sure people still saw her as a woman, not only as a mom. The dating quickly turned almost compulsive: a DJ, a chef, a graffiti artist, a billionaire's son. Others, she says, she won't name for legal reasons.
The villain persona
To get through it, Emily invented a character for herself: a villain in the spirit of Poison Ivy and Catwoman. Confident, a little intimidating, gin martini in hand, needing nobody. What mattered most was that nobody pitied her or saw her as a victim.
Where she landed
Her lawyer told her that most women never leave their marriages. Her conclusion: the strength was in the decision to leave. She calls the ability to say "no" the biggest thing her divorce gave her, even though the decision came at a high price.
Why everyone is arguing
The main criticism: the essay barely touches what ordinary single mothers deal with: tight money, exhaustion, loneliness. Emily has money, help and New York, so the story reads as glamorous. Some readers were stung by the suggestion that single motherhood is something to escape: many women say life without a difficult ex is simply better. The photo shoot drew its own backlash. In the main shot (the one at the top of this article) Emily holds a doll to her chest as if feeding it, and on Instagram similar shots came with a martini glass too.
She has plenty of defenders too. They point out that single mothers' experiences vary a lot, that Emily has every right to tell hers, and that the pile-on in the comments is just another case of women tearing other women down.
What's next
The essay has grown into a book. In July it emerged that Penguin Press had bought it after a 12-way bidding war, with an advance reported by US media to be in the seven figures. The book will share the essay's title, and no release date has been announced yet. It's a follow-up to My Body, about what kind of woman you become when your old life ends.
What do you think?
Does this kind of honesty help other moms, or is her story too far from real life? Tell us in the comments.
The original essay: The Cut, June 2026. Top photo: New York Magazine.
